I need to forgive myself.
But I am not covering for you anymore. I am not silent anymore.
You threw out the mother.
Disallowed your daughters.
Tortured and killed all the wise women that could heal your wounds and ground your greed.
On your way to the sky, your ambitions grew and your laws made your heart cold. You thoughts became separated from your heart because you came to hate your body when you estranged the earthly and exalted the heavenly.
You have been punished through your own misdeeds, by watching your own organization grow and morph into a hollow shell from what started as a holy family.
You called the women with power, gifts and deep wisdom for witches
You created fear and separation, you deepened the abyss between heaven and earth to offer a manipulated, unnecessary bridge. A bridge that never held, a bridge that always crumbled and let the travelers fall on their way to the salvation you promised them.
You called us witches for centuries, and today we are rising under that same name, because we want you to remember us!
We want you to look us in the eyes as we rise yet again -
as we take your children in our arms to heal their diseases,
as we let love flow from our hearts to our mama earth that you also disrespected, abused and tried to tear out of your religion.
I need to forgive myself because I let you do that.
Because I let you lure me into sleep.
Because I let you crush my belief in my own medicine and my sacred heart.
Because I let you teach me that the sacred was sacrilegious and what was unnatural really was divine.
Because I let you tell me that listening to my heart was weak and childish, and that using nature and my hands and heart to heal the world was sorcery and a mortal sin.
Today I rise up as I forgive myself for forgetting
I forgive myself for having been asleep all these centuries. For letting you push me down and be submissive to your self-imposed authority. I have spent ages repeating that cycle, but still I feel a deep sense of peace and love with myself knowing that I did it for love.
I died for love so many times, but today, is not another time.
Today I choose life!
Today I am proud and feel a profound sense of joy as I rise again after all these years, telling you: Look me into my eyes! I am that witch you killed. We are those women, mothers, daughters and sisters you tried to exterminate. I know you remember. I know your dreams have haunted you, I know my eyes have looked out at you through the eyes of your beloved and from your daughters that you looked adoringly at.
I know you have suffered enough, as have I.
So I free you now as I forgive myself.
For today I rise and I sleep no more. I die no more. For I choose life, and I hold the name you called me and lift it high, hold it as a badge of honor because I know you gave it to those you feared. Those that you needed to go silent into the good night. And I was that girl once. Twice. Too many times to remember. That Woman. That Witch. But today, I go silent no more.
I dry my tears and mend my broken heart.
I am awake, shouting and offering my heart, hands and medicine to the world again.
I choose Life.
And it's all for love.