Or cultivating a totally different attitude to and understanding of PAIN
I was swimming in a secret turquoise lagoon the other day. My heart feels raw, boundless and nostalgic as I think about it.
I was in Corfu with my family visiting my daughter that works there this summer. And through some very kind friends she's made, we all got invited for a day cruising the coastline of Corfu on a catamaran. I wasn't sure what to expect, but looked forward to a day at sea with my loved ones.
And it was stunning.
One of the most amazing experiences I've had in a long time.
The captain took us to 4 or 5 swim-stops at secluded, stunning lagoons and beautiful natural spots you could only get to by boat. And I swam in the acutely clear, salty turquoise water where the marine life created the most breathtaking painting below me and the heat of the sun made me feel vibrantly alive.
At the last stop as I had a moment of bliss trying to be completely present and remember this moment forever, I struck my toe against a sharp reef as I swam from the beach of white, smooth rolling stones. And when I came up on the boat, the toe was bleeding a fair bit.
Now, a few days later sitting in my sofa back in Denmark with my hair still salty from the Ionian sea and my skin golden brown from the days in the sun, I look at my toe kind of wishing I will get a tiny "scar-tattoo" to always have a physical reminder of that insanely special day.
And the thought hits me that ALL our scars truly are beautiful reminders of our otherworldly, beautiful human life
The juicy, the fulfilling, the painful, the loves loved and lost, the life lived to the fullest! And it all interconnects and correlates; the colorful, the messy, the salty, utterly human. Every single scar - physical as emotional- tells a story that I know someday we will be thankful to remember.
That day may not be today.
But wait for it.
It will come.
A day when you see the breathtaking pattern, the preparing for more, the leading up to climaxes, the introduction to cornerstones, leading roles and loves of our life!
I know for sure that I didn't expect the first, painful meeting with my Ego to lead to my life's legacy and love affair of my life. It took years for that to develop, and long proceses to unfurl as I could view those scars as anything else than lingering anguish.
We need more patience. The simple clear understanding that sometimes things aren't exactly as they look. Sometimes we don't see the whole picture or the masterpiece that we are creating with our very lives.
We also need to cultivate a totally different attitude to and understanding of PAIN! Like we do when exercising. Climbing a mountain. We don't expect that to be all effortless and pain free, do we?!
And yet with life - the biggest project and undertaking of our existence - we more than often do. We wince when we understand the cost of a project. We get sulky. We scream "Why me!?" when we don't see ab immediate result and when we experience trauma and confusion.
But this is the legacy of your life
And living it is a tremendous privilege.
And you WILL get it. Get to see the beauty, meaning and purpose behind every bump of the toe, every scar of the heart.
What we need most of all is trust, though. Trust makes the road and the process and even the pain, sooo much lighter.
Trust in love.
In your ego.
In the process.
And don't ever, never judge an unfinished project.
Or maybe not even when it's finished, because you may not be where you understand it yet. You may need another perspective or frame of mind. And that can happen in an instant if you're open to it.
Pray for it. To see it. How your scars are only reminders of events you (perhaps beyond your present understanding) chose to keep a reminder of. Not for you to close your heart, but to stay in wonder and trust *for.the.final.reveal*
The scars I got when battling for my Ego, today are my badges of honor and tokens of my deepest dedication and passion. I see this now. I see the deep, long and intermingled threads and patterns my ego so cunningly wove in my life, and today it fills me with awe and gratefulness.
I'm an all-in kind if girl throwing my arms out and head back shouting to the Universe; "COME ON!! GIVE IT ALL TO ME! I'M SO READY!!"
So I know I asked for it.
For me, they are tattoos of love inscribed, etched into my very being.
And I wear them lightly and with utmost pride and endearment.
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