"My guides have told me I should do this alone!"
Do you recognize this?
You could also replace "guides" with "intuition" of course. I know I recognize it. I have struggled with this point for a few years now, feeling torn between trying to make it alone - feeling I should - and on the other hand longing for more connection, feeling isolated and lost.
I am re-doing the Manifesting Goddess program now and am on the second gate of LOVE. And wow - the stuff that came up and healed during the first gate of CLEARING using the Obstacle removing oil has been mind-blowing and life-changing. I don't throw those phrases around lightly, but as I keep using the Obstacle remover oil, it just heals deeper and deeper. This oil is definitely my favorite now! I just love its energies and how profoundly it works.
During the CLEARING week, I actually visited the sanctity of my spiritual guides, and undertook a healing session of my 4 year old self (I had some surgery done then because of my cleft lip, and stayed in the hospital alone) and continued all the way back to my own birth. Some deep trauma from my first and second chakras was healed during that visit. Obstacle removing anyone?! You could say that again!
(but I need to stress that these things NEVER, ever happen unless you are ready for them and WANT that to happen for yourself! So you need having no fear that using the oil will be too overwhelming or traumatic! But if you let yourself, you CAN go deeper and deeper every time you use the oil and definitely the Manifesting Goddess program. That's completely up to you <3 )
As I mentioned in the first sentences, I have been feeling torn between feeling that I should do my both my business and healing journey on my own - like I have done till now - and feeling an increasing sense of frustration and isolation. I have felt so proud and deeply satisfied by looking back and seeing that my business has grown so completely organically and smoothly almost on its own, and that I have managed to draw all that wisdom and take aligned action on what my intuition have shown me in addition to working my way back from that 4 years of sick-leave from depression and exhaustion. I have loved that journey so much!
My question now though, as I want my business to grow more (I want to WORK more, I want to REACH more people! I just LOVE working with people seeing them change and their lives transform...!!! <3 <3 <3 ) and I want to achieve greater financial security for myself and my family, the question is whether or not I should get a coach or enter a business program to continue my journey with greater speed, more support and connection.
And yes, that's a dilemma for me! Because I feel I should do this alone!
That I should be able to draw on my intuition, my innate wisdom, that I should not be dependent on other people.
Does a psychic, intuitive mentor need additional support? Can't she make her way out for herself?
As everything in my training for using my psychic abilities has been about trusting myself and trusting that I know where to go and know what to do, it severely frustrates my sense of trusting myself and relying on my history of how that trust has made my way out of the wilderness and finally healed my life.
I was only yesterday when reading Elizabeth Purvis' blog on “Are you trying to go it alone?”, that I realized almost laughingly, that I AM NOT ALONE IN FEELING THAT WAY!!! Really?! Other people feel that too? It is even a very common resistance to growth your ego is throwing a tantrum about??!! Wow. I seriously never saw that one coming!! How predictable the human nature is, after all! Hah! Elizabeth also explains how
everything about having a business is about connections
About people helping people.
And that nothing creative, expanding and truly life-affirming happens in isolation. And I could really feel the truth of that! My body and heart felt it, even though my logic and mind still is questioning it. I need facts! I need to understand! I need to challenge that!!! Ooh, I need to challenge that!
So I started looking back
The path I have wandered that have led me towards where I am today. And quickly it dawned on me: OMG! I have not been doing this alone! The feeling that I have done it alone, is a fearful untruth of the neglected Divine child stemming from loneliness and pain.
First of all, my oils started selling as I was in a Facebook group of spiritual women where I gave away three bottles of money-oil. I never really had the idea of selling my oils till people started asking me because of the stories those three women came back with in the group. Those three women! Damn! They actually started my business!! And so the story continued. People I have met that loved my products and have spread the word – bought my products and poured love back into my life and business. Wow. I feel so blessed when I look back – in that completely opposite way looking for connections, for friendships, and seeing the love.
And then secondly, of course, there has been my coaches! There is really only one coach that I have kept for a long haul over several years (Karina Ladet! <3 Love you!), but there have been countless others I have met once or twice, that I have received free gifts from or been to webinars, courses or events with. Books. Folders. Websites and news-letters.
Third and not least in any way; The tremendous love, complete trust and faithful support I have received from my wonderful husband every single step of the way!
How did I EVER think I did this on my own??! Seriously? I don't really get it.
But I DO get that it all has to do with the trauma and pain of my Divine inner child. How she was reaffirmed at a tender age of 4 when she was left in the hospital for surgery for the second time, that the divine Mother will betray you and leave you and that love cannot be trusted. How she re-lived and reaffirmed this lesson all through her life, till the age of 48 (44 years later! Wow – there's a pattern of 4 here!) where she FINALLY was ready to heal that deep, deep wound and saw that life doesn't have to be lonely and isolated. That life can be just like her Higher Self teaches and that she has experienced in her own life periodically; easy, effortless and full of love and connection.
HAH! I knew that, didn't I?!
Yes, I both did and did not.
And as the student is ready, the teacher appears. And as I understand that this deep sense, that feels like it's coming from your guides or your intuition, of you should do it alone, is a very common feeling, I offer this story to you as well.
Sharing with you that you don't have to try to do it alone – and that there's no prize at the end of loneliness!
Because I also know that you and I have met for a reason, and what I realize may help you too. And so I wanted to share a picture of my especially created throat chakra altar with my earth-mother figure, my affirmations and aligned crystals with you. Isn't it pretty? I just love how it turned out. And every time I look at it and read the affirmations I created based on the opposite of my own fears, I actually sigh a sigh of relief.
And know I will be OK.
Because there is love.
And other people. Like you.
Reading what I write and liking what I do
That's love. And you will be OK