For years I had exhausting nightmares where I was using different kinds vehicles - airplanes, trains, buses - and because I was dragging along tons of luggage, I never was able to actually get off at my stop or catch my airplane. So naturally I was quite interested in figuring out what kind of "luggage" I was so burdened with, as I know our dreams are powerful messengers of the subconscious. I just didn't seem to find the solution. While many suggestions about what the luggage symbolized came up, none of them rang true or hit that spot of deep knowing.
At the 8-8 (8th of August) infinity-portal of 2016, I had just started a 4-week daily EFT tapping-course to rid myself of limiting beliefs about money. What immediately came up very poignantly, was very detailed and emotional charged memories of my very first life here on earth. This very first life - the persona I entered this 3D life as, and the traumatic events she experienced in that life, came up with acute clarity. As I uncovered these memories and even further memories from my entire incarnation-story, and could connect them to and recognize challenging themes in my present life, it was as if so many pieces of my life-puzzle clicked into place one after another.
"Ah...! THIS was why! WOW- no wonder!" I felt such an acute relief, understanding and clarity as I let this information settle inside me, but more than anything, I also felt the urgent desire of my first life-time for me to REMEMBER these lessons from her life and also remember who I originally was. It was as if the desperation of her feeling herself slipping away, had reverbated throughout all my other lives, making me feel the fear of losing myself, the fear of letting myself go.
And indeed it was a very real fear, as I now see how it took me lifetimes and millennia before I finally could unravel her messages for me! I also felt the contradictory messages of her both wanting me to remember who I was and at the same time giving me urgent warnings of the dangers of using my gifts and power as they had led to the traumatic events in her life, leading me to splitting my Self and laying a huge part of myself dormant in my Ego.
Trying to hold on to it desperately - all that luggage; The information and experiences from that deeply important lifetime that had set the themes and patterns for all the many, many coming lives. Ahhh...As this came up, I could almost FEEL my entire self, body, mind and subconscious relaxing and exhaling...FINALLY I did remember! Finally I knew who I was at the core. Finally I had deschiphered the messages that I had left in my heart and DNA for me to remember and open up when the time was right.
In 2016 I started using the mantra "The Time is now!" And what can I say? Somehow it probably also contributed to unlocking the most important message of my life. Because as the days passed after me remembering, I felt a completely new sense of grounding, of safety and a deep knowing of my own power and Self. It was like my entire body sank into a place of deep peace and understanding, instead of subconsciously stressing by hauling along the burden / "luggage" whose content still was locked up.
So when the 8-8 portal came this year, I was very excited and curious what would come up for me! Because in addition to this powerful portal, the 2017 also brought a full moon eclipse with it, so naturally I expected someting quite dramatic and revealing to appear. But as the day came, I was busy with the school-start of my son Tino and visitors from Sweden coming to stay for a few days, and as I went to bed that night as the day was ending, I was a little frustrated and a little anxious about not having had the time to either meditate or do any ritual on this energetically significant day! But as I went to sleep, I told my Higher- and subconscious Self to either complete any work that was to be done as I slept, and / or send me a dream with her messages.
The next morning I got up early getting ready to work, and suddenly clearly remembered a dream I had that night, and shared it with my husband. Ironically, in the dream I AGAIN at the airport checking in to take a flight from England to the US. Suddenly I discovered that I didn't have any luggage, and panicked completely. But after a couple of stressful seconds looking around me to realize that there wasn't any of my luggage there, I remembered; I had already checked in my luggage, and was all set to get on the airplane, without anything to carry with me. What a relief!! As I retold the dream to my husband we both started laughing as the message was so crystal-clear! There was nothing to stress about; Everything that needed to be done had been done, and my luggage was safely taken care of and already on my plane for my new destination!
So today, I remind myself that I am safe.
There is nothing to stress about, nothing I need to "haul along" with me where I'm going.
I am whole.
I can rest in who I am and where I am.
I am free!
I now know with an even more profound sense of clarity and peace who I am and why I'm here!
And I also know what it took for me to get here.
I am the epitome of all my incarnations, and as I stand in my truth and authentic power I can handle anything that comes into my life with grace and a deep knowing.
So I want to acknowledge and give thanks to myself.
Celebrate the ending of this area and the next one coming, knowing that life is so much easier and fun when you travel light!
So here's to traveling light, joyful and conscious, feeling and knowing with a certainty deep inside that all I need is right here.