The last months I have been struggling with an increasing sense of loneliness and isolation. When living in the country-side in Sweden, those feelings came with the territory, so to speak. But after having moved to Denmark and closer to the city, closer to my parents and my maternal family, trying to create a new social network have brought these fears up again.
Will we ever feel at home here?
When will my 6-year-old stop crying over his old friends and old school?
When will I feel at home, settled and find my new tribe?
Will it be worth it, in the end? The up-rooting, the pain of separation?
And as I've been using my Manifesting Goddess formula yet again, I found one huge blockage in my mind and life, a boulder-sized, no-way-can-lift obstacle. This blockage was the feeling I should really be able to do this alone.
I thought it was a spiritual guidance. It turned out being my broken heart speaking.
That feeling of having to do it alone wasn't initially connected to my private life, but to my business and the growth and strategic expansion of it. However, as I suddenly and painfully clearly realized that the picture of myself taking on the world on my own was created by my fears and broken heart, opening up to more support in my life suddenly was a real option. In every area of my life.
Is it OK to receive support?
Truly? That was the fear. And the idea that it's OK to be strong in my own intuition and follow my own council and STILL receive support from others was revealed to me like scales removed from my eyes.
I can be independent and deeply intuitive and still receive support from others!
I don't have to give up my authority. My Self. Like I have been doing larger parts of my grown up life.
I can be ME and be loved, supported and held wherever I go.
but still - even though and in spite of - I felt lonely.
And I couldn't figure out why. Till I was reminded the other day of my true origin.
I am Star-seed.
Being a Star-child.
I am not from here, originally. As you probably aren't either. So we don't always get it. The earth-plane and its workings. The heavy 3D densities. The drama. The pain and darkness. We just want out - want to float with our angels and star-family in other dimensions.
It just feels so much easier there, right?
The energies are so much lighter.
There aren't any heavy karmic lessons.
No need for the achy body.
The vibrations are so high and energizing.
Everything is love and joy.
So I understand my polarized reality better now.
I long back there. To my tribe of eternal love of timelessness. Being one with Source - feeling, hearing and seeing love in everything. There will always be a sense of separation and confinement on earth. Because we do have limits here - natural laws that guide and hold us in.
And when you at heart know you are a limitless being of source love, feeling separated from oneness can be torture.
So we need to hold both. Hold our divinity with one hand and our humanity with the other. Strech our Souls from earth to heaven, and know that every bit of that stretch is equally sacred and valuable.
True woman - True Goddess.
And that is the miracle.
An incarnated Divinity.
A human goddess.
A multi-dimensional creature of light, dirt and love.
This is what the Universe gifted us with.
We are so blessed.