Not knowing the power you have, unfortunately is yielding the same results as not having any. If you don't know you can turn the switch- you are in the same place as one living in darkness.
Power without consciousness - understanding - is really powerlessness.
I felt like love was all I had.
It was a comfort and a haven from my daily battles. But it was in the end only that. I knew it was major - but in the real world love didn't really matter. Out there it was a pale substitute. For real power. For real prosperity; hard cash securing the fundament of our lives and having a voice worth listening to.
All I knew was the love I had.
The love I held on to while my sea-anemone tendrils swayed powerlessly with the tides. All I saw was those flimsy tendrils floating. It felt like I WAS those arms constantly adrift according to the will of another. Never still. Never solid or constant.
It was just recently my eyes opened and I felt my trunk. Realized there was nothing above or below the sea that could move me. My trunk was part of the cliff. Had grown into it, and no matter the storms or tides; I remained. My centre stood still. Enduring and fast.
Was it possible that I could be both?
Both the flutterby wings AND the wind? Both the stem on the cliff AND the floating tendrils?
I can't tell you why the shift happened and how. I just know I one night remembered how the longing for love used to tear at my heart and make my days lonely and my nights impossible. The paradigm acutely shifting from desperation to fullness. Remembered how my body, thoughts and emotions swiftly eased into the comfort of a two-someness and made it home.
And it was then I understood it's power; the energy that makes pain grow fruit and loneliness into babies, is really what this multiverse is all about.
There is nothing without it.
Nothing worth having, listening to or doing.
There is nothing without love.
Love is the cosmic power most people don't know they have - don't know they can turn on.
Love is the only thing you should never apologize for or feel submissive about, no matter the form, shape or size.
Because love has no form, shape or size. It is all - it is everything - and every attempt of holding on to it, measure it, form it or outline it, will fail.
And it was then I realized I HAD IT.
In my swaying thread-like arms.
I not only didn't have the power to hold on to it- I didn't have to. It was already there. All around me. Inside of me. Moving above, below and through me. And I saw it. Acknowledged it.
Realized I WAS it.
And that nothing could grow without my understanding this.
This was my powerlessness; Not understanding and owning my superpower.
So I turned the switch.