So stop bashing it already!
When it hit me, it all made sense.
Why I am so protective about the Ego - why I so dislike the harsh tone and how spiritual leaders tell us to keep the Ego in check, that the Ego is drive by fear and following it leads to havoc. Because I strongly disagree. From my perspective, the Ego is simply our earthly Governor - the Keeper of our body and earthly journey, and of course it feels fear and suspicion to all the lofty doings our mind and soul's up to! It's got a body to take care, of, right?! Something we humans tend to ignore, forget or suppress or all three and then some.... Being our bodies' keeper must be a tough job indeed!
But when I saw the connection of the Ego and the inner Child, I just felt LOVE surrounding me and everything clicked in place and AAAh - and AAAW - how sad, terrible and plain WRONG it is how we push, command and ignore our Ego, when all it wants is to be taken care of, be safe and loved!
Just like a child.
A beloved child.
You definitely need to start loving your Ego right now.
If you want to be whole, healed and happy? Start with loving that which you have pushed aside and disliked about yourself, it is usually your Ego and / or your shadow sides - your shadow Self.
And to spell it out; you will NEVER - as in not possible, not ever, in the slightest -be able to feel whole and happy if you don't love those parts of you.
You won't be able to grow.
You won't be able to heal.
You won't be able to manifest the life you want.
You won't be able to create the career you are meant for, the relationships you long for or the Self Love you need.
If you demonize your Ego
either literally (Yep! Been there) or metaphorically - you will literally be just a shadow of yourself. An unholy, fractionated whisp or your true and authentic Self.
And that's just sad. Deeply sad.
Because inside you? There is this child, your young Self crying to be seen, to be free, loved and playing in the light.
The wonderful news is that it is never too late.
And it is all possible and worth doing.
Your inner child is just like any other child!
Don't, please don't, struggle with punishment and consequences.
Children just don't get it.
They are just children, for gods sake. The only thing they truly understand? Is love. (we have some deep lessons to learn from that, folks!!) They have no concept of time, of anything longer, more complicated or abstract than the right now. Which we also should learn from , by the way - not the other way around!
And I know that any mothers heart is simply torn apart by the struggles she is taught to have with her children:
To create "healthy" consequences and punishments when her children behave in a manner that society (or her mom. Or her husband) don't think is "constructive" right now.
(I use quotation marks in "constructive", as I know we have such limited views on what really is constructive. For isn't is constructive to learn by trial and error? Isn't it constructive to behave like a 4-year-old when you are, let's say, 4?! Isn't it constructive to be angry, to be sad, to try out all those sides of you that is unknown, to see which ones you like and want to keep? I could go on. You hopefully get the picture)
I know those hours and evenings in hell
when you try to push yourself to keep your child to a standard your heart is crying over. When you feel you need to be firm, to not let the child win, to show your child that it can't get away with everything. And I also know that
These times are exactly the ones that every mother carries with her to her death grueled by guilt,
because she let herself be told not to follow her heart.
She let herself be convinced that loving is not enough, that learning by example is wishy-washy and even foolish.
Also we struggle so with the bigger picture
Seeing it and not expecting results right now
(hear that, everyone?! Can we give our children the gift of more time?)
Not expecting our children to behave like little soldiers, behaving, listening and obeying like grown-ups. God forbid that's what we expect them to.
We often don't like what they do. It plain embarrasses us. it also often reminds us of parts of ourselves we don't accept. And - wow - just how we treat our OWN inner child?! Is often how we tend to treat our physical children. See the connection here too? What we dislike, suppress and try to train away.
But you can't train away a child.
You can't train away your Ego either.
And by God - you don't want to.
Just let them be children already.
Give them love and they will be alright. In fact they will be more than OK. They will be their own brilliant, self-confident, creative, happy human messy child like they are meant to be.
So please listen to this, and truly hear it:
You just need love.
You need love and more love.
You need to see that child, respect that child, listen to that child.
Listen good and heard with your heart - so that you don't drown out it's voice with your own fears and agendas.
And the miracle happens; when you show a child respect, love and see that child, the child will learn to to that themselves.
To be a loving grown-up that listens, sees and respects other human beings.
It is really that simple.
And the same goes for your Ego.